


Emotional Resonance

by StripedSunhat



Category: Girl Genius (Webcomic)
Genre: Agatha is stubborn, Angst, Emotional Manipulation, Emotions, Gil is stubborn, Hope, Loss of hope, Love, Magical Realism, Multi, Repetition, Tarvek is stubborn, They are all stubborn and terrifying, Willpower, of a more literal sense, so much repetition
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-29
Updated: 2019-06-29
Packaged: 2020-05-29 15:44:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19403413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StripedSunhat/pseuds/StripedSunhat
Summary: There are some people who need more.  Some people who are more.  They do not subsist on bread and wine alone but also…Well let’s call it the spirit.A look at a world where the Wulfenbach Empire is less hopeful, Mechanicsburg less fearful and the Valois family somehow even less remorseful.  Where emotions have substance not just weight and where a battle of wills can be a very literal thing.





	Emotional Resonance

**Author's Note:**

> So did you know word documents record when they're first created. I first jotted down the basic ideas for this thing in _2017._ It quickly got abandoned because actual execution of it was crap but it's been kicking around a while. It only got resurrected last Thursday, so it's either been two and a half years or a little over a week in the making, depending on if you're measuring from Gil's perspective or Agatha's.
> 
> I literally have no idea what this thing is. Originally way back when it was going to be a straightforward tell everything type of story that would have been a digital brick and probably god awful to boot. I like this version better than that one but that still doesn't mean I have any clue what this version is.  
> Other than very repetitive. And a little over-surreal.

The agreed upon answer is a Spark.

The agreed upon answer for almost everything is a Spark. But then again it’s nearly always true, at least in some way or another. The agreed upon answer to this is a Spark. No one knows who or when or how or why but the answer, whenever asked, is a Spark.

* * *

There are some people who need more. Some people who _are_ more. They do not subsist on bread and wine alone but also…

Well let’s call it the spirit.

They are not all Sparks, though they tend to be. They are not all important, though they tend to be. There’s something of a conundrum in that latter one. A sort of chicken-or-egg kind of thought. Are they more because they’re important or are they important because they’re more?

(Either way the answer for them, whenever asked, is a Spark.)

* * *

When Gil is young, two months before Klaus sends Tarvek away, the topic of gossip is those who draw on nightmares.

“I heard they can keep a person asleep for as long as they want, trapped in a never-ending nightmare.”

“Well I heard just being around them can give you nightmares until eventually you can never have good dreams again, even if you get away from them.”

Gil slumps lower in his sleep and tries to become invisible. He stares at the table and tries to block out the rest of the world. Most of all he tries to exist as little as little as possible. Tarvek notices and knocks their shoulders together. He doesn’t know what’s wrong – has the pieces but can’t put them together – but he knows Gil’s upset and when it comes down to it that’s the only part that matters.

That night he sneaks into Gil’s room. They both sleep better with the other near.

* * *

Two months later Tarvek is gone. There is no one to knock Gil’s shoulder. The gossip has moved on to those who draw on guilt.

* * *

Tarvek doesn’t have nightmares the entire time he’s aboard Castle Wulfenbach. He always used to. But aboard the airship he doesn’t. He has a friend to chase them away.

After Gil betrays him the nightmares return worse than ever before. They all feature falling. He always wakes right before he hits the ground.

* * *

It’s Tarvek’s own fault for how he’s treated.

That is not true.

It is a lie hurt children tell themselves when they can no longer believe the truth of their own innocence. It. Is. Not. True.

(But… In a strange, horrible sort of way, it is.)

Usually, those who are more don’t affect others. Not by simply being. Usually they go through life drawing on those around them without disturbing them. Just the faintest, feather-light brush. Those around them might find those emotions just a little dull, feel them imperceptivity less.

However, if they want to they can take more. They can, for that brief time that their spirit draws on yours, take that emotion entirely away.

(Sometimes, when there isn’t enough, when their control isn’t good enough, they can do so by accident.)

(Tarvek draws on remorse.)

* * *

The night Tarvek first arrives in Paris (two days after Gil but he won’t learn that for another three) he dreams of falling. That night he does not wake before he hits the ground. Instead his feet lightly touch the ground with no more force than if he’d jumped off a low curb. He doesn’t slow, he doesn’t float, he merely – stops. Unhurt and unharmed standing on solid ground that had not been there before.

Even his dream self knows this is not how it’s supposed to go. He looks around the strangely comforting nothingness surrounding him. No answers reveal themselves. Eventually he wakes up, feeling more confused than anything else.

The next night the same thing happens. And the night after that. (The night after the day he sees Gil again he dreams of flying. He wakes and lies that he can’t see a difference.)

After a month he stops having bad dreams at all.

* * *

Those who draw on emotions always are. It is as involuntary as breath, as a heartbeat. If they live their spirit is drawing on others, the faintest, feather-light brush.

Except for those who live on dreams or nightmares. They do not draw with each breath, each heartbeat. Only when they sleep. How else is one to reach dreams? And when they do theirs is not a light brush. They take everything and they do not leave a single thing behind.

* * *

When he’s at university some ~~idiot~~ student introduces Gil to the idea of lucid dreaming.

Gil is immediately hooked. The idea of controlling his dreams is too tempting to ignore. He tries on his own and when he accepts that he has no apparent natural talent for it he goes back to the first ~~idiot~~ student for help. (Later, much later Agatha will say that it was probably not a bad thing to have gotten a head start on, even if the… exact methods leave something to be desired. Tarvek will say that everyone involved should have been shot, Gil possibly included).

Gil accepts that lucid dreaming is not a natural talent of his. He still keeps trying anyway. Just… on his own. And away from potential explosives.

* * *

When Agatha is a child, before he uncle leaves, she spends eight months living in a tiny village absolutely teeming with children. It could have been lonely surrounded by children who’ve known each other their whole lives but around Agatha their hesitation of a newcomer slips away. Agatha loves that village.

One day, three months in, the local daredevil climbs to the top of the church roof and declares he’s going to jump from it into the nearby tree. A crowd begins to form immediately. As the crowd grows larger and larger he loses more and more of his nerve. Now he’s stuck, too afraid but unable to admit it. Right as Agatha joins the cheering crowd his fear vanishes. He forgets why he was afraid, remembers what he’s meant to be doing, and jumps.

He misses his branch and ends up with a broken arm and the undying adulation of his peers.

Later, when he’s strutting around showing off his brand new cast he runs into Agatha.

“I saw your jump.”

“I heard you cheering.” He toes at the dirt. “It was your cheering that made me brave enough to jump.”

“Really?” Accepted or not Agatha’s still the newcomer and she gets horrible headaches and the little clanks she’s started fiddling with keep exploding. Being recognized for good things is unexpected.

“Yeah.” In another burst of bravery the boy surges forward and pecks Agatha on the cheek before running home.

It is her first kiss.

* * *

Lilith and Adam have every reason in the world to be afraid.

Their Masters are gone, their oldest friend is now an enemy, the Other’s minions are hunting them. They are alone and underprepared have absolutely no idea what they are doing.

They have every reason to be afraid but they aren’t. Whenever they begin to fear it slips away in the face of their beautiful, brilliant little girl. How can they ever be afraid when Agatha is there?

Then Agatha is taken away to the Baron’s airship and Lilith and Adam are _terrified._

* * *

Klaus does not fear Agatha. He is concerned over the implications of a new Heterodyne but when he looks at her he does not fear.

His worry only increases when she escapes his airship. He worries for his empire whose stability is about to be threatened. He worries for his son who is so clearly taken with her. He fears for the future and what someone like her might mean for it.

But as he faces her Klaus does not, can not, fear her.

Later once she is yet again away from him Klaus will count his inability to be afraid in her presence as another mark against her.

* * *

Fear can be a good thing.

It keeps us safe.

Its absence causes brave little boys to jump from church roofs.

Or in front of swords.

* * *

Guilt. Remorse. Empathy.

Such strange, rejected things to be so vital to a soul. Because what worth is a soul without them?

What Tarvek draws on, that shapes all souls, that builds a soul worth having, exists in his home only in scraps.

Tarvek grows up starving.

There is never enough. There never will be enough. Not here. The servants are too scared to risk truly feeling anything. And his family…

It is a miracle he doesn’t die. If it wasn’t for Violetta, the steady pace of her overburdened soul he probably would have.

Is it any wonder whenever there is remorse to draw on he takes too much?

* * *

Those who are more do not lose those emotions they live on. It is not a lack they must make up for through others. Neither do they feel their emotion more strongly. Just because they need it doesn’t mean they feel it any more than anything else. It is a myth, one only fools believe.

* * *

Tarvek grows up starving.

He grows up in a house full of people almost entirely devoid of compassion and remorse.

Is it any wonder he grows up hiding them away, unwilling to display them to the world?

* * *

Gil loves Agatha.

He loves her as soon as he meets her.

He knows how hopeless going up against the Baron is.

But for Agatha he holds out hope. He hangs it around his neck, small and solid and something Klaus can’t touch.

* * *

Those who draw on emotions draw on them from everyone. They can take them from _anyone_.

You cannot stop them.

* * *

The Other feeds on will.

Let that sink in for a minute.

* * *

Lucrezia is broken.

Lucrezia has always been more. She draws on trust. Tearing it down, building it back up, tearing it back down again. She plays with it, with the people it belongs to, tugging them along like little puppets on her string. She takes and she twists and she is everything.

But then – it goes _wrong_ – there is an experiment – No – she doesn’t – everything is wrong – she can’t – she doesn’t –

Suddenly Lucrezia can’t reach for people’s trust anymore.

Lucrezia is _broken_.

She still needs it. But she can’t reach it. Can’t touch it.

She’s starving. Wasting away. She will die without it. She is dying without it.

No.

Lucrezia is not one to lie down and die, never someone to die. She will not let this stop her. Let this _end_ **_her_.**

If she can’t reach for it herself, she’ll make something to take it for her. If she can’t feed on trust she’ll find something else. _She will not die from this_.

* * *

The Other feeds on will.

Has it sunk in yet?

* * *

Klaus lives on hope.

He needs hope to live. He cannot survive in a world without it. Isn’t that something? Put like that it sounds almost heroic.

Let’s try phrasing it another way.

Klaus feeds on hope.

Consumes it.

Steals it away with every breath.

Doesn’t sound so heroic anymore, does it?

* * *

So many armies went up against Klaus with only hope on their side. So many people. And then the Baron appears across the field and suddenly their hope slips away. Vanishes like it was never there to start.

It’s a hopeless battle. It is always a hopeless battle.

So many people that would go against the Baron have no hope of winning. They are outmanned, outflanked, outclassed. So many lives are saved with surrender.

Are we back to heroic again?

* * *

Some people draw more than others. Leave less behind. If they aren’t careful.

Klaus has never been the most careful of individuals.

* * *

Gil has always been a hopeful child.

* * *

Klaus has always been willing to do what needs to be done. He’s always been willing to use everything he has to do so.

Gil will not give up on Agatha. Even trapped with no other moves to make he holds out hope. Even now as he takes Klaus’s deal Klaus can see it in his eyes.

So Klaus takes.

He takes everything and he does not leave a single thing behind.

* * *

Love is separate from hope. The loss one does not mean losing the other.

But tell me, what is love without hope really worth?

* * *

Some emotions return better than others. Happiness might take a while but it will come back eventually. It might be small, maybe even unnoticed but at some point it will. Fear likewise always comes creeping back in. Sadness never stays away for long.

Others aren’t so easy. Take away all of a person’s trust and see if they feel it ever again.

Hope.

Hope is not easy.

Lose all hope and it won’t come back. Not on its own.

* * *

(The answer, in case you’re wondering, is a spark.)

* * *

Gil has no hope of finding Agatha alive.

He keeps searching anyway. He does not stop. Will not stop.

Pursuit without hope isn’t dedication it is fixation.

* * *

Gil has no hope of freeing Mechanicsburg.

He keeps tunneling anyway. He still has a duty to his empire.

He will fail having done everything he could.

* * *

Gil has no hope of finding Tarvek alive.

He keeps planning anyway.

At the very least he can bring back his body to bury.

* * *

The people of the Wulfenbach Empire are generally well off. The ordinary everyday ones.

The ones who never fought back.

The people Klaus has conquered are complacent, resigned. They are not hopeful. They never will be again. Where is there room for hope in their world?

The people of the Wulfenbach Empire are well off. The ones who don’t fight back.

Klaus does not stay where he conquers. He never sees what he leaves behind.

* * *

You can’t say Gil doesn’t eat. Bang makes sure he does. When she’s there.

You can’t say Gil doesn’t sleep. His body falls unconscious. When it can’t go any more.

You can’t say Gil’s not alive. He still moves, he still talks, he still thinks. His heart still beats, his lungs still breath. You can’t say he’s not alive. Everything you can measure says he is.

* * *

Agatha returns.

For the first time in more than two years Gil feels hope. He’s full of it, as if he never lost it.

Gil has always been a hopeful person.

* * *

A cancer cell multiplies. It copies itself onto other hosts and changes them until they are the exact same as it. And then, once they’re both the same, they –

Multiply.

* * *

The Other feeds on will.

Remind me again, behind that locket, what is it holding back the Other in Agatha’s mind?

* * *

While they’re waiting waist deep in the snow for their train Violetta turns toward Agatha and says, “I live on sadness.”

Agatha blinks “I didn’t know you drew on emotion.”

Violetta shrugs, wanting to look anywhere other than at her mistress. But she can’t, not with the offer she’s about to make. “If you want I can take away yours.”

Agatha narrows her eyes, a thoughtful, calculating expression that for all it is the same is worlds different from the ones of Sturmhalten. “And have you taken my sadness away before?” Violetta flinches. She never used to feel guilty taking Tarvek’s sadness away.

“Only a little. A couple times.”

Agatha remains silent for several minutes. Finally she says, “Okay.”

“Okay?”

“But only a little. I can’t afford to forget why I’m fighting. Besides I also need to be able to keep myself together even if you aren’t right there next to me.”

Violetta beams. You’d think _her_ sadness had been whisked away. “Of course My Lady.”

* * *

Agatha returns and suddenly the world is less afraid.

* * *

There are many advantages for a Heterodyne who draws on fear.

In the good old days it would have been a perfect excuse to have some _fun_.

Bill used it in other ways. He drew on it liberally. So when he first met new people he could use that lack of fear to put them at ease. To convince them they were different, to convince them they were _good_.

Years later it lets people underestimate Agatha. He hardly seems dangerous. They’re not scared of her at all. And once they know she’s dangerous they’re still not scared. She’s not a threat she’s an _equal._

Useful, that.

* * *

Agatha spends a lot of time making people unafraid. She learns the sharp, quick feel of her friends when danger hits. She learns the slower, soured feel of her enemies when she’s near. She learns the deep, old feel of childhood terror and the subtle, sneaky feel of irrational phobias.

She starts to tell them apart, to sense what she is drawing from.

This is not normal.

* * *

This is a paradigm shift.

* * *

Gil never gave up on lucid dreaming. He had to have figured out at least part of it eventually. After all those years he’s able to stand awake and aware in the middle of his dreams.

But… his dreams aren’t the only ones he has entry to. Gil starts thinking. Starts reaching. Standing in the middle of his dreams, unable to trust his own head in the waking world, he reaches out. He reaches for Agatha and Tarvek, trying to get to them the only way he can.

Every time sleeps he wakes unrepentant and unafraid

* * *

Agatha is a spark of brilliance, lighting up the world. She is a legend come to life. Everywhere she goes change follows. People watch. People talk. Stories of her spread like wildfire.

Agatha storms Paris; Agatha descends on England. She defeats the Storm King; she triumphs over Her Undying Majesty.

She elevates her king; she frees her baron.

Agatha walks through the world and suddenly the world is is more hopeful.

* * *

This is what togetherness looks like:

England half-drowned, madness and chaos and screaming. A tiny stolen dirigible and a waiting empire ignored. A cave full of family. Long nights planning how to take on the world. A whole lot of fear they refuse to sweep away but instead face hand in hand in hand.

* * *

Jägers live on the hunt.

Great bloody hunts, ravaging the countryside, a wave of terror and teeth. Small, simple hunts like tracking down a wandering child or finding their lady’s missing bracelet. Playful, friendly hunts chasing each other back and forth.

Jägers always hunt.

* * *

“So un old book which has writing in it that hasn’t been written yet, a lamp dat don’t really look like a lamp and any mirrors dat are really portals.”

“Yes. And any Geisterdamen or hive engines if you happen to come across them. Or anything that looks particularly interesting.”

“Dat could be a lot,” Dimo mutters. Agatha chooses to ignore him.

“Remember I don’t want you to try to grab them yourselves. If you find any of them or find out where any of them are you find me or Gil or Tarvek. That is an order.”

“Ve Hunt!”

“VE HUNT!!!”

“You just created a Europa-wide scavenger hunt,” Gil says.

“Despite the name I think someone should tell them it’s not actually a hunt.”

Dimo snorts. Behind him Oggie and Maxim chase after each other. “Et ees alvays a hunt.”

* * *

Getting the Other out of Agatha’s head ends up being a lot more difficult than any of them thought it would be. For all Tarvek’s plans and Gil’s creativity and Agatha’s sheer genius in the end it boils down to a battle of wills. You would think Agatha’s the one at a disadvantage.

You would be wrong. So would the Other.

Agatha’s will is endless.

* * *

Slepnir draws on inhibitions.

You could do a lot that. If you know how to use it right.

Gil, when he finds out, demands two promises. First that she never let the Baron find out. The second is that she never use it on him.

* * *

The night before those promises are made Theo asks Slepnir to try his newest drink. The morning those promises are made Theo and Slepnir wake up in each others arms not a piece of clothing and not a single inhibition between them. Theo’s new drink took away Slepnir’s and Slepnir herself took away his.

* * *

Those who live on the spirit don’t need much. Just the faintest, light brush. They can take more though. And taking more gives more.

So it should be no surprise that having drunk every last bit of Theo’s inhibitions the night before Slepnir is completely wired when she breaks into Gil’s room and spills out a jumbled tangle of words.

“I didn’t mean to!”

“Wha– Slepnir?”

“It’s all my fault! I never should have – He’s going to hate me! He’s going to hate me Gil!”

“No ones going to hate you –”

“Yes he is! He never would have if I hadn’t – He’s going to _hate_ me!”

Needless to say it takes a while to straighten the story out into something resembling coherence. Once he hears it Gil promises to help and extracts two promises.

Locking the three of them in a storage closet and Gil glaring at the two of them until they talk isn’t the most conventional way of helping. Hey, it works and in the end does it really matter past that?

There are a lot fewer inhibitions between Slepnir and Theo after that, and not because of Slepnir’s abilities.

* * *

The tunneling through Mechanicsburg to Klaus and his bomb is taking a long time. And there’s not an endless amount of time to do it in. And yet when they find Theo and Slepnir just a few meters off their planned path they reroute to pull them out. They are friends and they are family – there is always enough time for those.

They take them to the caves where the rest of Agatha’s family still is. That night there’s a massive party. Everyone is together for the moment and everyone is safe. That’s reason enough to celebrate.

The next morning Agatha and Gil and Tarvek wake up in each other’s arms. There is not a piece of clothing and not a single inhibition between them.

“Well that’s one promise broken.” Gil says, staring up at the ceiling.

“Umm…” Tarvek’s clearly already to preoccupied with all the implications of what they’ve done to process.

Agatha huffs out a breath and pulls both of them closer. And there, away from any other influences, no one pulls away.

* * *

There are a lot fewer inhibitions between the three of them after that.

No storage closet required.

* * *

The Other is broken.

Unable to draw emotion for herself. So she made her little wasps, her perfect, precious wasps, to do so for her. She could not reach out with her soul so she had to reach with something more solid. Rather than have that tenuous, fragile bond reach out it would reach back instead.

So her little wasps would reach back to her, sending the will that they’d stolen away with every breath of their host, every heartbeat.

* * *

A cancer cell multiplies. Destroying that first cell does not kill it.

Remind me again, how many copies does the Other have? How many Hive Engines?

* * *

Agatha can tell with a thought whose fear is whose. She can sense as easily as breathing all the different people within her sphere of reach.

She begins expanding that reach. A few meters. The breadth of a ballroom. Of a building. Of a town square. Outwards and outwards. The reach of a Heterodyne is always fearsome and vast.

She begins differentiating between fears. Drawing from _here_ but not from _there._

Her people charge forward without fear. Her enemies, not so much.

* * *

_This is a paradigm shift_.

* * *

Klaus Wulfenbach does not trust.

Anymore.

* * *

Love can exist without trust. The loss one does not mean losing the other.

But tell me, do you really want it to?

* * *

Klaus loves his son.

* * *

Mechanicsburg can’t stay trapped forever.

With it’s release comes Klaus’s. Gil loves his father. He doesn’t want to fight him. They’ve got plans to deal with the Other and free the revenants. Zeetha deserves to meet their father without a knife in between. Agatha is firmly established among the other world powers and as a friend of the Empire. Things are stable. Things are good. The time-stop falls and Gil really, really hopes he won’t have to fight his father.

Gil was always a hopeful child.

* * *

No one is letting Klaus anywhere near Agatha. They are not that stupid.

No one is letting Klaus anywhere near Gil. Not again.

When they let Klaus near Zeetha it goes well for approximately four point seven seconds. Then Klaus opens his mouth.

That leaves Tarvek.

* * *

When Tarvek meets with Klaus the first thing he tells him is that Gil is fine. He locks back snarls and accusations and every crime he wants to fling at Klaus’s feet. Gil and Agatha still have hope they can work with him. So he locks it up and he begins with an olive branch. Gil is safe, Gil is happy, Gil is free.

Klaus does not trust his words.

Klaus looks at Tarvek and all he sees is an enemy. He does not trust him. He does not trust the Lady Heterodyne. He will never trust them.

* * *

Klaus is no longer the Baron. He no longer has an empire but that does not mean he’s no longer a threat. If these talks don’t go the way Agatha wants them to go she will attack. Klaus knows this. She has his son. This is a battle. This is a battle the same as so many Klaus has faced. Klaus stands across from Tarvek and he takes. He steals every drop of hope that Tarvek has. Tarvek Sturmvoraus is an enemy. Klaus has faced his enemies the same way for years now. He takes everything and does not leave a single thing behind.

These were always hopeless talks.

* * *

Tarvek has no hope of winning. He has no hope of a happy ending.

Alright. Then he will find a match. He will burn the world to the ground. He will rend it apart. If he has no hope of a happy ending then he will not try to make one. He will burn the world and every single thing in it down around his feet. At least Agatha and Gil will be safe within its ashes.

* * *

Klaus has made a very grave mistake.

* * *

Tarvek burns through Europa. He will not let their enemies live for a second longer. He throws himself into every fight with no thought of his own safety. He was not hope of surviving after all.

Agatha and Gil are left frantically chasing after him. It takes a while to catch up. Damage control keeps side tracking them. On the up side once they finally do get them back there’ll be a lot less threats for them to deal with.

Tarvek does not stop. He does not turn; he does not waver. He has to do everything he can now. He will burn the world to the ground and he cannot stop while there’s anything left standing. He has no hope of trying again. Agatha and Gil run and chase and Tarvek stays always one step ahead of them.

It’s a hopeless chase.

* * *

Eventually they finally, finally catch up to him. They have no plans, no strategies. All they can do is stand in front of him and ask him to trust.

Tarvek does not have any hope.

What he does have left however is something more.

Faith.

Unfaltering, unending faith.

* * *

Agatha creates a plan to help free the revenants. Some are easier to free than others. They’ve scraped together as much of their own will as they can, keeping it safe, hording it away. Others have almost no will left. They are husks drained dry. There’s not much Agatha can do for them.

Agatha creates a plan to find and destroy the remaining hive engines. She also has a jäger horde to sic on them. That helps too.

Agatha creates a plan to eliminate the Geisterdamen. They never needed their will taken, they offered theirs up freely. Agatha cuts them down. Again, jäger hordes help.

* * *

The Other has lost her servants. She has lost her wasps (her perfect, precious wasps). She has lost her revenants. Her feeding ground. She is stripped down to nothing but her copies.

Each with wills of their own bent and drawn to hers.

* * *

To kill a cancer, you have to make sure there is nothing left.

* * *

In the end it does not come down to a battle of wills. It comes down to simple facts. The Other is stripped down to nothing. Will means very little against brute force.

The Other will not lie down and die, will never die. She will not let this stop her. She will not let this _end **her**_ –

But Agatha’s will is endless. More to the point, Agatha has an army. And the Other has been stripped down to nothing.

* * *

The Other is _broken_.

* * *

There is so much more will in the world now. It makes it more interesting. Less predictable.

Peace is in many ways more exciting than war. Agatha loves it. She strides forward without fear.

* * *

Figuring out how to reach other people’s dreams is a process. Somehow Gil convinces Agatha and Tarvek to help him with it. They tell themselves he’d just try on his own if they didn’t. They’re not wrong. It goes far less explosively than the last time and soon he’s not just reaching but walking through them. That’s where the problems start.

* * *

Gil doesn’t draw on dreams. He draws on nightmares. It didn’t mean anything when he was only drawing from them but now…

Gil isn’t just taking away nightmares he’s being thrown into them. The nightmares of every dreamer his spirit touches. He’s trapped. Agatha and Tarvek cannot get him to wake up. They drag him far away, where no one else is dreaming. They don’t sleep for four days. Finally Gil opens his eyes.

What comes next is a waking nightmare. If Gil falls asleep he gets trapped in other’s nightmares. It there’s no one else sleeping then his spirit has nothing to draw on.

Agatha draws away their fear and Tarvek their guilt but that still leaves Agatha terrified and Tarvek drowning. But it doesn’t stop them working. It takes a month before Gil is able to stay in his dreams rather than being sucked into others’. It takes another month after that before he can walk through dreams as an observer.

It does work though. And he walks through them awake and aware, as easily as his own.

* * *

For how long it took to learn how to dreamwalk, Gil tends not to. Even looking at them as an outsider nightmares are still, well, nightmares. Blood and death and fear and panic and darkness.

Some of them, on rare occasions are different. Like Agatha’s dream that if she sneezes hard enough all her hair would pop off her head. Or Tarvek’s dream of arriving at the opera only to realize what he was wearing was completely unfashionable.

Agatha loves the new hat he buys her. Tarvek is less than pleased with the exact replica of the velvet opera outfit he smuggles into their closet.

* * *

Gil walks through nightmares, drawing them away, leaving behind comforting nothingness and peaceful sleep. He’s walking through Zeetha’s nightmares the first time he tries to plant something new in its place.

_Zeetha is lost. She’s alone and she’s lost her way home. She’ll never see home again, she’ll never see her mother again, she’ll never know if it’s real, she’ll never find her family, she’s alone, all alone she’ll never –_

Gil draws those thoughts away. In their absence the darkness seems too empty. He makes his way over to Zeetha. She’s not quite there, undefined the way all dreamselves are. He talks to her anyway. Fills the emptiness with memories of Agatha knowing about Skifander, of meeting Gil, of learning and sharing the truth, of the mirror they’re fixing. Gil finds himself jolted awake. It’s still the dark hours of the night and he’s simultaneously exhausted beyond comprehension and too wired to even shut his eyes.

Zeetha is far too chipper the next morning. Gil is trying to use his waffles as a pillow.

“Jeeze, what did you walk through last night?”

“Couldn’t sleep.”

“Well I slept great. I dreamt about meeting Agatha and meeting you. And the mirror and seeing home again.”

* * *

When Tarvek returns home, after his father’s… experiment, he finds him completely unremorseful. In his letter he’d been drowning in guilt. But standing in front of Tarvek now he feels nothing for what he’s done. Tarvek storms out in disgust. He’s halfway to the tower – the furthest he can get from the lab – when he hears the anguished cries start back up.

Anevka is not dead. And until that changes Tarvek will not give up. So back to the lab he goes. His father has done nothing but blubber. Tarvek steps into the lab and all that guilt, that tortured grief, slips away. Aaronev leaves, not having time to waste on a defective daughter. He comes crawling back half an hour later begging forgiveness, only to wander out a bare minute after that. The cycle repeats three more times, pulling Tarvek out of his concentration every time. He wishes his father would cut the theatrics. If the tiny wisp of guilt Tarvek draws away is enough to make him all but forget his daughter still exists he could hardly be wracked with any real guilt.

* * *

They go through the motions of three more cycles. The final time his father heads towards the lab door Tarvek stops. He studies his father and for the first time considers whether his father isn’t pretending.

It’s amazing how much clearer you can think when you aren’t starving.

He closes his eyes and focuses on reigning his spirit back in. His vision goes dizzy and he nearly falls. It’s not easy to go back to starving after years of not. Across the room his father drops to the floor. Oh.

When he finally regains his balance his father is still on the floor. Tarvek considers him for a long minute. He could leave him there. Leave him drown in his own failings.

Anevka still needs him. And he can’t help her like this. Tarvek shuts his eyes again and breathes in, drawing the guilt in with it. His father gets up and leaves once again. Tarvek’s spirit follows him out as he stretches it as far as he can go. Aaronev will not bother coming back.

Tarvek turns back to the lab table. His sister still needs him.

* * *

Tarvek has become very perceptive with guilt over the years. Very aware of the connection that spins its way out from him. The constant _pull pull pull._

What do things that _pull_ also do?

_Push._

* * *

It’s desperation the first time he actually tries. They’re alone and away from home and dammit this was supposed to be _peaceful talks._

_Peaceful. Talks._

You don’t have to be outmatched to die young you just have to be unlucky. And if there’s one thing they haven’t been today it’s lucky. So Tarvek closes his eyes, reaches out with his spirit and –

Pushes.

The assassins drop to the floor. So does Tarvek.

* * *

Tarvek wakes up two days later to an absolute wave of guilt. He grabs ahold of it, following it back to the waking world. There’s Gil who always thinks everything is his fault, and Agatha, who thinks that way too, although not quite as badly. Tarvek reaches out and pulls, using that to somehow not fall back unconscious.

Unfortunately for him with guilt gone that only leaves anger and worry. The shouting shakes the foundation of the Castle.

* * *

Agatha has no interest in creating fear. The Heterodynes have spent enough time doing that.

That doesn’t mean she doesn’t have her own tricks.

It’s amazing how absolutely terrifying someone looks when nothing else scares them. Everything else they’ve ever been scared of – death, pain, taxes – no longer do but the woman across from them does. How terrifying does she have to be to wipe all other fear from their minds?

* * *

Agatha has learned the feel of every fear. She wraps her spirit around her family in ever winding circles. And she wraps up tightest of all her boys.

Some she lets lie. A little fear can be a good thing. When it keeps brave little boys from jumping in front of swords.

Other fears she draws away completely. Deep fears, old fears. Fear they’ll never be good enough. Fear they’ll never be _good_. Fear they’ll never be loved. Fear they can’t love. Fear they’ll lose everything. Fear they’ll be left alone.

Anytime either of them have to leave Mechanicsburg Agatha wraps her spirit around them and pulls and pulls and pulls.

She can’t erase their fears. She can’t keep them from coming back once they’re too far for her to reach, but she can make sure as soon as they’re home their fear slips away.

* * *

Agatha, Gil and Tarvek are more.

They have always been more. They will always be more.

But above that, first and foremost, they are each other’s.

* * *

The answer, should you ask, is a miracle.


End file.
